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Mark is a 35 year old, ginger-haired and now fortunately balding, village club cricket player. An opening inswing bowler that doesn't swing it any longer. He wrote a Blog two years ago when preparing for a game a cricket on the flanks of Mt Everest and was told to carry on writing it.

Tuesday 17 March 2009

A Good Day..



Simon Tonui - Winner Bath Half 09 - one of the best running students I ever had



Errrm. Yup.

Seriously. Can't feel my legs still. Honestly, numb from my child-bearing hips, down. Nothing. Zip. Nil.


What a day. The Bath Half was like a demonic presence in my Everest diary and that every time I thought about it, I wretched. Like in the films when the inexperienced cop was shown the mauled body as the experience cop swishes the blanket off in the Morgue; or like when people came round to my University digs to try out my cheese-fondue all those years ago. Running is bad enough but 13 miles of it, it what turned out to be the hottest day of the year, was hard going and the thought of me doing that a year ago would have been preposterous. My Brother originally suggested it to me many months ago as it would be a good target for my fitness regime to aim for. When I heard that the Everest Test was also thinking the same thoughts there was simply nowhere to hide. Nowhere; and when on Sunday morning we were sitting round his kitchen table; him with a ripped ham-string and me with my ankle and both with very sore heads, the idea of running twice round Bath City Centre and adjoining industrial estates seemed a ridiculous notion. At 9am having been given 2 minutes on the kitchens egg-timer to make our "ffking minds up" -(wives), we decided to take the plunge. Bollocks to it.

I was staggered by the sheer numbers of people milling about; all stretching, queuing for the khazi's or looking for the microscopic free Lucozade van. So many people of all shapes, sizes, and ages and I started to feel just a little better about my chances. The delay of half-an-hour I think put most of us supreme athletes, on edge though. It was like the firing squad just having one last pint before they come outside and blow your brains out.

I had also met up up with some (but not all) of the guys from the Everest Test and Cuzza threw me my Everest Test shirt and a proud feeling was felt. Soon to be followed by a feeling of acute asphyxiation and blood flow loss as the XL top was stretched over my guts as one would stretch cling-film over a half-eaten Christmas ham. However, it felt good to put on an official top like this , I was unable to be at the press-launch and so I haven't had the chance to wear an official piece of kit. It was great to also see that everyone was up for this and to see a few of the guys in full wicket-keeping / batting gear with bat was astonishing. My usual flurry with the bat for my customary 4 at the end of most innings is enough to give me substantial chaff-age but running 13 miles in it is worthy of a Queens mention.

The first few "clicks" (as us professional runners call them) were taken up enjoying the atmosphere with Joe and JB. I think we all secretly wished this nightmare would end shortly and the cheerful conversation started to dwindle at mile 3. In the meantime, the Kenyan guy who eventually won the race, Simon Tonui, came through on his second lap. Quite amazing. "Si" was one of the best running pupils I ever had. Good to see him again; albeit briefly. My right leg went dead soon after Mile 3 and I had to sort myself out and it appeared my shoe laces were tied too tight as my right foot had gone porcelain white with very little blood-flow getting to my toes - err, MEDIC! That was the last I saw of JB but I saw Joe and Vicks a little later in the run. Really the main bulk of the run was under my own steam but it was good to catch-up with Kirt, Hillsy and few of the others, as we all trudged our way round. Hillsy was obviously in a little bit of pain but was very determined with the bit very much between his teeth obviously. I left him behind after a while, under duress, reminiscent of a scene from a very run-of-the-mill, Vietnam war film.

JH - "Go, ..go on, leave me Man, don't worry about me (cough)".
MW - "I won't leave you in this state..I won't..",
JH - "I'll be OK, arrggh, just tell everyone that, aarrggh....that...." ,
MW - "Just keep going, take it easy, drink, take on fluid"
JH - "I'll, I'll......arggh....tell ma folks.....tell them...aaagghhhh."
MW - "Hiiiilllllssseeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..........."

With that he was swallowed up by a wave of runners made up of Scooby-Doo, Batman and Robin, 4 guys wearing pink Tutu's tied together, a Rhinoceros, a bloke that looked as though he was about to blow-up, a group of OAP's and other more normal runners with inappropriate shorts. I didn't see him again.

As I neared the 13 mile mark is became apparent that the heat had become too much for some and, having never done anything like this before, it was weird and a little disturbing jumping over strewn bodies of people under heat blankets and attended to by the ambulance services, lying in their own waste. Very similar to Stevenage town centre on a Friday night I mulled, and no less unpleasant. More surprisingly was that I wasn't one of them. The last few miles I had to take easy and I had to walk on and off. My legs were basically done in every joint-zone and the arches of my feet were becoming very painful. My ankle is still relatively painful and I will be starting to lay off the hard-core running / training now. The trip is too close and a bad ankle will make my trip very unpleasant indeed. This, for me, was the big one. I'm not finished but I am conscious that we should be aware of keeping injury at bay.

I think all those that did manage to run on Sunday managed a great achievement and more importantly we all did it without having to call on the emergency services. A list below of runners from the Everest Test and times. G-Man and Charlie C (freaks) nailing it about 1hr 30min. Unbelievable really. No particular order and (p) stands for those wearing kit.

Richard Kirtley (p) (2:21)
Jonathan Hill (p) (2:25)
Lucy Brooks (2:19)
Helen Curr (2:18)
Alex Fudakowska (2:18)
Vicks Nicholson (2:25)
Jules Staveley (2:02)
Joe Williams (2:25)
Ben Jarman (1:51)
Chris Martin (1:51)
Gareth Lewis (1:33)
Charlie Campbell (1:38)
Racing Snake (2:18)
James Butler (2:13)
Glen Lowis (p) (2:17)
Russell De Beer(p) (2:17)

Friends of the trip:

The General (1:48)
Iain Curr (2:17)
Will Hanson (1:46)
Laura Hewitt (2:19)
Charlie Perrin (2:24)
Laura Bridges (1:55)

And so it was that my first Half Marathon was completed. I was in pain sure, but I wasn't dead and even I experienced a funny voice in my head that said something like; "let's do it again, someday". I think I may have answered verbally, like a wierdo you keep well away from on the tube, with "Shut up, Idiot" or something like that. Only a few people turned to look at me but it could be blamed on heat-stroke and I hope the "lets do it again" feeling passes. I received my "much looked forward to" goody bag which consisted of a T-Shirt (too big), a small, unsubstantial cereal bar, some sort Granola bar that tasted much like I imagine a diving board would, some T-Bags (I forgot to take my kettle running though so in this instance proved to completely useless), some cranberry jam (which didn't prove all that handy after the race surprisingly either), and a meddle with no mention of Bath anywhere on it - no family bucket, no lager, no painkillers.

But the T-Shirt is proof enough.

The atmosphere of the day was terrific and Bath is such a great place; even if it is to run around in it. If I was going to do this sort of ridiculous activity, Bath would be where I would want to do it. The crowds were great and really cheered you on, Abi and my kids apparentely cheered me on (I never saw them), and Cuzza shouting something like "Come on you Fat .........................." in the home straight. It was all great to hear and all really concentrated the mind in just getting to the finish line and getting this preposterous activity over with.

Long story but I drove home after the race; a good 3.5 hours, with my eldest particularly enjoying the standstill traffic for 45 minutes just to get out of Bath city centre and inventing a game called "More Tea!" whereby Mummy and Daddy had to recount every item of edible food ever found to the same tune as "The Wheels On The Bus...".

So, , "Toast on the Bus goes round and round; round and round;.. round and round, etc"..........."More Tea!" Err, "Eggs on the bus, go round and round; round and round, ..round and round"......."More Tea!".........Err, Err ..Um "Meddalion of Pork on the bus, goes round and round; round and round...round and ffing round"..............etc, you get the idea. Head-Split.

This lasted from the M4 junction at Bath up until she got into bed at home. Enough was enough for a Sunday.

So two days later, the fog has lifted a little and the pain is subsiding, ... just. The start of the trip is seriously so close now and after these fitness milestones it's now, hopefully, all mustard from here up until the 9th April. The next date is the farewell party on Thursday and that should be a great night with good mates coming see a little more about what it's all about;.....and some free booze of course.

To my readers in Cambodia, I will pass on details of the logistics of the trip after our final trip meeting on the 28th.

Keep you posted.

3 comments:

White-Pages said...

Great stuff mate - brilliant effort (on the run and the blog).

See you on Thurs

tooveseverest said...

mate yet again, very funny and evocative. have read out several passages to my flatmate

Curry said...

U think my words were: "Yes Ginger Rocky, you have f*#+ing owned this race!" I meant it too! Exceptional.

I do still have your black t-shirt though...